BIG Changes...

Okay, let the record show that I, Laura Ann Pickart, SUCK at following self imposed rules and constraints...but this time's gonna be different. 

I will be turning 25 in September, am currently unemployed, and I've been single for...over 4 years [and as much as I'll always love him--that relationship hardly counts], this is the point in my life when things have to change.  I'm also attempting to go to grad school [attempting because apparently I've decided to pick the year for professors to retire]. These changes aren't completely voluntary, but they are basically forced upon me--I have to find a job unless I'm going to live in a cardboard box or win the lottery [which I've come to find out you need to play to win, and you need money to play!]; I have to move out of my parents' house--not because they're kicking me out, but because if I live here for too long at least 1 of 2 things will happen: I will become depressed or I will go crazy [I'm fairly certain depressed crazy isn't something people want to see].  Getting an advanced degree has been a goal of mine for as long, if not longer, than it has been a goal to be a thinner me.

It's time for some things in my life to change.  Firstly, I need to glean through all of my crap.  I am living with my parents [God Bless Them], and as my permanent address has never changed [any and all jobs I have ever had have either been temporary or at the same school where my mom works].  Not to mention that for 5 years of my life I have lived in 2 places at once: home & college/Australia/internship.

This has resulted in an enormous amount of stuff [George Carlin, anyone?].  The kicker is the number of things I have to live on my own--which I have never done.  This includes a microwave, Shark vacuum, hot air popcorn popper, and iron--all of which are still in their respective boxes. Not to mention all of the things that I have bought over the last 5 years [because I expected to have a job and be living on my own] to decorate an apartment.  I have luggage, I have dishes, I have 2 TVs to my name (and a VCR, DVD player, 2 video game consoles, a desktop and a laptop computer).  STUFF.

Second thing that needs to change is related to the third: my diet (2) and my body (3).  I eat crap, I like it, and it shows.  My greatest problem is not really caring.  I have lost about 60 [55 if I'm being honest] since High School, but not by my own doing.  At 18 I was diagnosed with PCOS=Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.  The PCOS caused my body to not regulate insulin correctly, ergo I was rarely "full", thus I weighed 248 (at my heaviest).  But doctors have the amazing ability to treat the symptoms of PCOS [its a syndrome, so there is no cure]. My first doctor in the PCOS clinic, Dr. M. Tracy Bekx, at UW Health & the American Family Children's Hospital was [and is] my own personal angel.  She took a young woman and gave her confidence--not just in my appearance, but in everything that I did/do.  Just by taking a pill [okay they're like giant horse pills and depending on the type of pill, either 2 or 4 of them daily], my body now regulates my insulin correctly.  However, because I continue to be me, and not really care what I put into my body, I've plateaued.  It's not that I'm unhappy with weighing 185 [I can now wear clothes not from the Women's or Plus Size section!], but I know I could look better.  I could be healthier.  I could feel better, physically and emotionally.

But I was/am not very good at discipline--you know how on shows like The Biggest Loser, Bob & Jillian have to yell and scream at those people, and their diets are controlled?  That's basically what I need, because I don't have that voice on my head.  But, oddly enough after hearing about Bob's book on the Revolution [to my sister, if she reads my blog, it was a segment with Tim Gunn], I feel like I might be able to follow his Skinny Rules to help me get rid of this last 20-30 pounds to make me the healthiest and skinniest I have ever been.

Now I know it won't be easy--I'll be surrounded by temptation, and I have something like 3 vacations [1 cheapo with sorority sisters, 2 with my parents=Mooch City, Unemplomentopolis] which will make his "eat 10 meals a week at home" rule a bust [and that's just one I know about from the TV interview], but that shouldn't mean I fall off the wagon and run over by the Fast Food Express Bus.

So what I'm going to do, right now [a solid 12+ hours before you read this] is to buy his Nook book [thanks to one of the teachers I worked with who gave me a Nook gift card!].  Now I have his rules, and all I have to do is read and obey...and, so help me, I'm going to keep you posted [I think that should be change number 4].

[And for the record, if there are any majorly minor grammatical errors, I apologize, I started writing this on my Nook at about 3am Sunday morning. Inspiration strikes at the oddest of times.]

Leaping into Unemployment

I am but a half day of school away from unemployment (By choice, of course).  Now we're heading into uncharted territory for me: a plan-less life.  My "plan" (because I feel like I need to have one) is to see what happens now. How terrible is that?

I have decided to leap into unemployment.  The scariest thing I can think of that I have done to date.  I am leaving behind my awesome school kids and a stable (though insufficient) income for nothingness.  Thank God I have amazing parents who have no current plans to throw me out--they also pay for way more than normal parents do for a normal 24/25 year old. Yes, I do feel guilty about it.  With their help, and a tight personal budget, I have probably a year of college loan payments saved...and about 17 months of health insurance.

I will be spending the next 8 days dog-sitting for a retired teacher. After which there is even less of a plan.  I will become a professional job hunter.  The thing with me is I know what I want and I don't want to settle for less.  A coworker suggested applying at a local factory.  I informed her that I won't be taking any job until it's THE job (at least until I'm too poor to afford my loan payments).  The entire point of not signing my contract for the next school year was to take away the security blanket.  Having a steady job is like having a safety net--why leap if you know there's a safety net?  There's no point and no fun.

I've noticed that I enjoy security and safety.  This has caused me to be lax when it comes to applying for jobs and pushing myself into a change.  So now I have to do my best to fight off any sort of depression--which I'm hoping will be helped by the dog-sitting and the multiple crafts that I need to get done within the next month.  I need to keep searching and applying for jobs, and if nothing happens by fall, I will be remaining on the local school district's substitute list and applying for graduate school to start winter/spring 2013.  (See I have to have a plan)

So if anybody knows of a zoo or a nature center in the Midwest (preferably WI, MN, MI, IL) that is looking for an environmental educator with a biology degree, 16+ months of experience working in a school and a total of 15 months in internships in education and aviculture, let me know :)

The other thing I hope to use to keep my mind focused:  Football.  Packers last OTA practice open to the public is this Tuesday, June 5th.  I shall be there.  Nothing can make this girl feel better than a little Packers Football--Remember the "G" stands for Greatness.