BIG Changes...

Okay, let the record show that I, Laura Ann Pickart, SUCK at following self imposed rules and constraints...but this time's gonna be different. 

I will be turning 25 in September, am currently unemployed, and I've been single for...over 4 years [and as much as I'll always love him--that relationship hardly counts], this is the point in my life when things have to change.  I'm also attempting to go to grad school [attempting because apparently I've decided to pick the year for professors to retire]. These changes aren't completely voluntary, but they are basically forced upon me--I have to find a job unless I'm going to live in a cardboard box or win the lottery [which I've come to find out you need to play to win, and you need money to play!]; I have to move out of my parents' house--not because they're kicking me out, but because if I live here for too long at least 1 of 2 things will happen: I will become depressed or I will go crazy [I'm fairly certain depressed crazy isn't something people want to see].  Getting an advanced degree has been a goal of mine for as long, if not longer, than it has been a goal to be a thinner me.

It's time for some things in my life to change.  Firstly, I need to glean through all of my crap.  I am living with my parents [God Bless Them], and as my permanent address has never changed [any and all jobs I have ever had have either been temporary or at the same school where my mom works].  Not to mention that for 5 years of my life I have lived in 2 places at once: home & college/Australia/internship.

This has resulted in an enormous amount of stuff [George Carlin, anyone?].  The kicker is the number of things I have to live on my own--which I have never done.  This includes a microwave, Shark vacuum, hot air popcorn popper, and iron--all of which are still in their respective boxes. Not to mention all of the things that I have bought over the last 5 years [because I expected to have a job and be living on my own] to decorate an apartment.  I have luggage, I have dishes, I have 2 TVs to my name (and a VCR, DVD player, 2 video game consoles, a desktop and a laptop computer).  STUFF.

Second thing that needs to change is related to the third: my diet (2) and my body (3).  I eat crap, I like it, and it shows.  My greatest problem is not really caring.  I have lost about 60 [55 if I'm being honest] since High School, but not by my own doing.  At 18 I was diagnosed with PCOS=Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.  The PCOS caused my body to not regulate insulin correctly, ergo I was rarely "full", thus I weighed 248 (at my heaviest).  But doctors have the amazing ability to treat the symptoms of PCOS [its a syndrome, so there is no cure]. My first doctor in the PCOS clinic, Dr. M. Tracy Bekx, at UW Health & the American Family Children's Hospital was [and is] my own personal angel.  She took a young woman and gave her confidence--not just in my appearance, but in everything that I did/do.  Just by taking a pill [okay they're like giant horse pills and depending on the type of pill, either 2 or 4 of them daily], my body now regulates my insulin correctly.  However, because I continue to be me, and not really care what I put into my body, I've plateaued.  It's not that I'm unhappy with weighing 185 [I can now wear clothes not from the Women's or Plus Size section!], but I know I could look better.  I could be healthier.  I could feel better, physically and emotionally.

But I was/am not very good at discipline--you know how on shows like The Biggest Loser, Bob & Jillian have to yell and scream at those people, and their diets are controlled?  That's basically what I need, because I don't have that voice on my head.  But, oddly enough after hearing about Bob's book on the Revolution [to my sister, if she reads my blog, it was a segment with Tim Gunn], I feel like I might be able to follow his Skinny Rules to help me get rid of this last 20-30 pounds to make me the healthiest and skinniest I have ever been.

Now I know it won't be easy--I'll be surrounded by temptation, and I have something like 3 vacations [1 cheapo with sorority sisters, 2 with my parents=Mooch City, Unemplomentopolis] which will make his "eat 10 meals a week at home" rule a bust [and that's just one I know about from the TV interview], but that shouldn't mean I fall off the wagon and run over by the Fast Food Express Bus.

So what I'm going to do, right now [a solid 12+ hours before you read this] is to buy his Nook book [thanks to one of the teachers I worked with who gave me a Nook gift card!].  Now I have his rules, and all I have to do is read and obey...and, so help me, I'm going to keep you posted [I think that should be change number 4].

[And for the record, if there are any majorly minor grammatical errors, I apologize, I started writing this on my Nook at about 3am Sunday morning. Inspiration strikes at the oddest of times.]